A man and woman return home from another day at work. They are both exhausted and tired. He walks to the couch, reading the newspaper or turning on the TV, having an expression that says: “For me the world is dead”, while she starts organizing and cleaning the house. While she is tidying up, she tells him about her day.
He barely hears her, or rather – his ears filter out the background noise while he read the newspaper. Until, suddenly, he hears a higher tone than usual, and finds his wife standing next to him, broom in one hand witha very dissatisfied face. She claims he does not care about her and does not listen to her.
Men from Mars and Women from Venus?
This is a normal everyday situation that occurs in many houses. Each scenario is slightly different, but they all have the same problem – of “he is sitting on sofa, not listening” while she “will not stop talking”.
This is all due to lack of hormones! With some awareness of what is happening in your body during the day, you can better understand your wife and improve your communication! Here is some of what happened while you were working hard, barley having time for a cup of coffee.
During a situation that evokes tension, blood flow through emotional brain areas, which creates the feeling of stress. In women the flow to the emotional areas in the brain contains eight times more blood than in men. So you can say women tend to naturally be more stressed than men.
In fact, everyday events that put women in stress barely get acknowledged by men. In order for an event to be considered an emotional event by men, it must be a life and death situation. Therefore, many times they do not understand why women make everything an issue.
When a man experienced a situation that makes him uncomfortable, but hehad nothing he can do about it, he deals with it by choosing to forget about it. Women can not bear to do it and can not even conceive how such a thing is happening. A woman who meets an annoyance beyond her control, find an outlet for her frustration, by talking about it.
In his book “Why Mars and Venus collide?” Dr. John Gray argues that the ones that really take things out of proportion are actually men, because they think that women are turning every small matter into a life and death situation, when they really did not mean it. Women just want to share their feelings. So why is it so important for women to talk about it?
The female brain’s way of dealing with a rising level of stress, is to release Serotonin and Oxytocin – hormones that are very relaxing for women. Women should produce Serotonin to relax, since it regulates the blood flow to their brain’s emotional areas. Women’s brain produces Serotonin when they talk about what bother them, and feel that they are being listened to.
Once men understand that listening to their women means to help them produce more Serotonin and feel better, they realize that this is one of the easiest ways to improve a relationship! After all it is well known that when a woman feels good, her man is well too.
If you wish to know how men are affected by stress and what help them relax, you can read it all in the full version on the article!